Let’s set the scene: you’re replaying a conversation in your head for the hundredth time, trying to find the “perfect” way to handle it next time.

Maybe it’s the client who keeps pushing boundaries. Or the coworker whose offhand comments make your blood boil. Or that family member who always has something to say.

Instead of addressing it, you spiral into a sea of what-ifs:

• What if I say the wrong thing?
• What if I make it worse?
• What if I regret speaking up at all?

Sound familiar?

Here’s the truth: overthinking is just fear in a fancier outfit.

Why Overthinking Keeps You Stuck

Fear loves to convince us that we just need to analyze a little more. Find the exact right words. Wait for the perfect moment. Then - poof! - everything will go smoothly.

But conflict doesn’t work like that.

Waiting for the “perfect” moment is really just waiting for fear to feel safe. Spoiler alert: fear never feels safe.

And while you’re waiting, the problem stays unsolved. The boundary stays unspoken. And your confidence? It left the building.

So, what if you stopped waiting for perfection and started focusing on something else instead?

3 Steps to Move Past Overthinking Conflict

Here’s how you can start shifting from spiraling to showing up:

1. Trust in Your Values
   What’s really important to you in this situation? What’s the truth you want to honor?
   Grounding yourself in your values helps you focus on what matters most, not on trying to control the other person’s reaction.
2. Create Safety in the Moment
   Fear thrives in chaos, so your job is to ground yourself before you act.
   Take a deep breath, slow your tone, and remind yourself: I can handle this. When you lead with calm, you create an environment where real dialogue can happen.
3. Take the Next Best Step
   Forget the perfect move. What’s the clearest, simplest action you can take right now?
   Maybe it’s saying, “Can we talk about this later?” Maybe it’s setting a small boundary. Whatever it is, trust that showing up, even imperfectly, is better than staying silent.

This Isn’t About Perfection

Let’s be clear: this isn’t about magically fixing every issue or delivering a flawless monologue.

It’s about showing up authentically, honoring your values, and trusting that you can handle whatever comes next. Because you can.

Let’s Navigate Conflict Together

If overthinking conflict has been holding you back, I’d love to help you create a framework for navigating these moments with confidence and clarity.

This isn’t about being fearless, it’s about being prepared, grounded, and unapologetically bold when it matters most.

Send me an email to [email protected] to stop overthinking and start creating what matters most to you.

Your voice matters. Let’s make sure it’s heard.