Venting Feels Good. But It Won’t Fix the Problem.

Let’s be real: venting about your boss in the group chat feels incredible… for about five minutes.

You fire off that text, maybe add a meme for extra flavor, and your friends respond with a mix of laughs, validation, and maybe a few eye-roll emojis. For a moment, it feels like a release.

But then the meeting you were dreading? Still on the calendar. The frustration? Still simmering. That knot in your stomach? Still twisting tighter.

Venting feels good in the moment, but it’s like putting a bandage on a wound that actually needs stitches. It gives you temporary relief, but it doesn’t solve the real problem.

So, what would?

What Happens When You Stop Biting Your Tongue 

Imagine this: instead of saving your thoughts for the group chat after the meeting, you say what’s on your mind in the room.

Not out of anger. Not to “win” the conversation. But because you’ve built the confidence, clarity, and tools to express yourself in a way that feels aligned, impactful, and true to you.

Picture walking out of that meeting knowing you said what needed to be said. No regrets. No second-guessing. And no stomach knots.

It’s not just about speaking up. It’s about stepping into the kind of leadership that models what’s possible - for your team, your colleagues, and yes, even your boss.

Why Venting Feels Safer - and How to Shift the Pattern 

Let’s get honest: venting feels safe because it doesn’t require us to face the discomfort of the real conversation. It’s easier to send that “Ugh, my boss is the worst” text than it is to raise your hand in the meeting and say, “I think we need to address this differently.”

But here’s the truth: every time we bite our tongues, we undermine our own confidence and self-trust. We teach ourselves that our voice doesn’t matter, and demonstrating to others that our voice doesn't matter, that silence is the safer choice.

The good news? That pattern isn’t permanent. With the right tools and support, you can unlearn it.

How to Start Speaking Up (Without Burning Bridges) 

If you’re ready to stop venting and start leading, here’s where to begin:

 1. Get Into Your Leadership Energy

How do you want to feel at the end of this conversation? Decide now what being in your full Leadership Energy feels like, practice it outside of confrontation, and embody that before you even open your mouth. 

 2. Choose the Right Moment 

Learning to read a room only adds to your leadership cred. Because sometimes speaking up doesn't mean interrupting a heated conversation, sometimes it's finding the quiet moment afterward when your voice can be heard without distraction. When you're in your Leadership Energy, you'll have a better finger on the pulse of a situation, gauge your political capital in the moment, so you know whether to spend it "in the moment" or "in the quiet moment afterward."

 3. Frame Your Feedback with the End Goal in Mind 

When you speak up, focus on what the other person really wants, and how your ideas get them there. You're letting them know, "Hey, we both want the same thing!" But your way saves money or cuts through red tape or saves everyone time or gets us the win without leaving anyone behind.

 4. Trust Your Voice 

Your perspective matters - you bring life experience, smarts, insight that is otherwise left off the table. It's worth sharing. Every time you choose to speak up, you’re reinforcing that trust in yourself - and showing others what’s possible when you lead with confidence.

Let’s Make This Your New Normal 

If you’re tired of saving your best ideas for the group chat and ready to bring them to the table instead, let’s talk.

I work with high-achieving women leaders to help them match their inner fire with their external expression. To stop biting their tongues in meetings (or anywhere else) and start leading boldly, in ways that serve them and their teams.

If that sounds like the kind of leadership you’re ready to step into, book a consultation. Your voice matters - let’s make sure the right people hear it.