I grew up hearing, “Silence is golden.”

At dinner, my dad had a children should be seen, not heard vibe, and I learned early that staying quiet felt… safe.

Except it wasn’t.

When Silence Holds You Back

Silence might keep the peace in the moment, but over time, it becomes a chain—keeping you stuck in patterns where you play small, bite your tongue, and hold back when it matters most.

And it’s no wonder. We’ve all grown up navigating a minefield of mixed messages about using our voice:

• “Stay in your lane!”
• “Speak up if you see something.”
• “Loose lips sink ships.”
• “Express yourself!”

So, which is it? Are we supposed to be quiet, or are we supposed to speak up?

The truth is, silence isn’t inherently golden—or destructive. It’s all about discernment.

The Discernment You Need

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Being nervous or anxious about speaking up isn’t a sign you should stay quiet. It’s just fear talking.

Discernment comes from understanding three key things:

1. Your Non-Negotiable Values
   
   
• What do you stand for, no matter what? What truths are so central to who you are that they guide every decision, even when it’s uncomfortable?
2. How to Create Safety Before Conflict
   
   
• Conflict feels risky because it stirs emotions—yours and theirs. Learning to ground yourself before a tough conversation helps you lead with calm, clarity, and confidence.
3. The Difference Between Silence That Serves You and Silence That Holds You Back
   
   
• Silence can be powerful when it’s intentional. But when it’s rooted in fear or avoidance, it becomes a barrier, keeping you from leading boldly.

Why Finding Your Voice Matters

This isn’t just about feeling more confident. When you learn to discern when to speak up and when to stay silent, everything changes:

• You build trust and respect in your relationships. People know exactly where you stand, and they value your honesty.
• You create opportunities for growth. Whether it’s asking for a raise, pitching a bold idea, or addressing an uncomfortable dynamic, your voice opens doors.
• You lead with purpose. Instead of shrinking or second-guessing, you show up grounded in your values, modeling the kind of leadership that inspires others.

This is how you stop biting your tongue in conversations that matter.

How to Reclaim Your Voice

If you’re ready to stop letting silence hold you back, here’s where to start:

1. Define Your Non-Negotiables
   
   
• What values or principles are you unwilling to compromise? Write them down and reflect on how they show up in your decisions.
2. Practice Grounding Techniques
   
   
• Before a tough conversation, take a moment to breathe deeply, reconnect with your values, and remind yourself that you can handle this.
3. Evaluate Your Silence
   
   
• When you choose to stay quiet, ask yourself why. Does this silence serve you, or is it holding you back?

Your Voice Is Your Power

When you stop letting fear dictate when you speak up, you take your power back.

You create teams you love leading.
You open the door to the opportunities you’ve been chasing.
You shift the dynamics of your relationships for the better.

This isn’t about being loud for the sake of it, it’s about showing up with clarity, courage, and unapologetic confidence.

Your Turn

How did you use your voice the last time it mattered - or how did you hold back?

Reflect on it. What worked? What didn’t? And how might you approach it differently next time?

Drop your thoughts in the comments or send me a message. Let’s start a conversation about what it looks like to lead boldly, with your voice as your greatest tool.

We’re in this together,
Amy